I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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