capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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