do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
