I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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