I heard we made out
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
