My underwear smells like fireworks.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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