so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
