Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
