We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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