She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize