i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
