News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Terrible idea I love it
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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