just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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