can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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