watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
