Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
