i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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