He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
