Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
