Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
