I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
