just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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