the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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