She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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