I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
