Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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