Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(831): View more from California

theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it

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(862): View more from New Jersey

She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.

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(+61): View more from Australia

Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.

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