me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
