my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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