im about as happy as oj after his trial
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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