so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
