She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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