Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
