dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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