they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
