You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
