i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize