Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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