Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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