Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
