Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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