hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
