WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
