We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
