He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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