I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
