Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
