hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
