It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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