Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
