Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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