Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
