They should really pass out barf bags in church
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
