Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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