Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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