so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
