Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
