remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
