the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
