All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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