cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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