so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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