come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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