Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
