Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
