drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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