remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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