I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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