I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
3 2 1 whiskey
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
