i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
