Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
