Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
